In brain injury circles - as in life - people say you have to own something.
This is not so easy for me, but I am giving it a good go.
Now the name of my brain injury is a “subarachnoid haemorrhage” - two measly words which before the events of March 2, 2013 had never entered my life before.
As Shakespeare said: “what is in a name?” Well it turns out quite a lot actually sir!
Doctors and many other people call my injury a ‘bleed on the brain’ - which is what it is - so fair enough.
But internally - to me - that never felt enough.
That never described or did justice to the damage done to my brain - and entire life.
My wife has suffered, my family have suffered, my friends have suffered and my work/job/career have all suffered from it.
Without trying to sound too egotistical, but I sometimes think of my brain injury as like the sun in the universe - with a number of different elements orbiting around it and all feeling the ripple effects coursing through them.
Now that is not to say I am suggesting I am at the centre of the entire universe - but I like to think I am, or certainly was - in my own little universe.
I have always been good with words - some may call it a curse, some may call it a blessing.
Therefore, maybe it is this which fuels my search for definition - and ultimately closure on the matter.
So would a rose smell as sweet? Shakespeare might say.
To me, a "bleed" was merely just a bit of blood - a child falls over and scrapes their knee, you catch your finger in a zip by accident.
My incredible wife Amy has been simply amazing throughout all of this - and still to this day I do not know why she has put up with my constant annoying badgering questions like: "Is it a stroke? Did the doctors call it a stroke?"
But when something has had so much power or influence over you and your life, you want to at least get its' name right.
Amy and many others in my life still refer to it as a bleed and that's ok, I don't want them saying “subarachnoid haemorrhage” all the time and also for them its comfortable they have got used to it over the last six (wow is it six!?) years. For me though I think I'm still working on it, so many doctors have started calling what I had a stroke. For me personally it better suits my journey, the devastating journey my stroke has taken me on.
I know for others this detail is just that, maybe an unnecessary detail, but for me it's important and crucial word in getting used to what happen to me.
At 30 years old I had a stroke and my life changed forever.
Although, after saying all of that, all thoughts, feelings and worries fly out of my head the minute I hear the most important word to me - Daddy!!!