Will has asked me to write a few blog posts about my role in his recovery. I do feel a huge attachment to this little corner of the internet, because it documents not only Will's recovery over the last few years, but also it charts our relationship together. I love looking back through old blogs and reading about all of the things we have achieved together as a couple.
I had this idea of writing a series of blog posts about the real, honest truth behind being his carer, well more specifically; the lessons I personally have learned while carrying the title. I am really conscious not to make it a "wallow-fest", and try to show both the positives, and the inevitable negatives. I also don't want anyone to ever feel sorry for me, because that is not what this is about, I do, however, hope by writing this, it will help someone, somewhere.
Right, on with the first instalment; I thought I would deal with quite a lighthearted subject to start the series off - "rows", or arguments.
When Will first came out of hospital, and for many months afterwards, I would let him get away with most things. In fact, he didn't have to do anything, as I had done everything before he himself knew what he wanted! In those months, we most definitely were "carer and patient" as he was still really poorly. Walking was difficult for him, and after undergoing any activity, he needed to go back to sleep straightaway to recharge his batteries. I don't have too many memories of that time other than spending a lot of the time just fussing, probably unnecessarily. Our days consisted a lot of Will sleeping, and me watching television, while making lots of paper flowers. During this time, Will depended a lot more on me to do most things. Emotions were still quite raw and I tried to do anything to avoid Will becoming really unhappy.
Skip forwards to now, and we most definitely are back to being more of a "normal" couple, in a normal (at times dysfunctional but whose isn't?!) relationship. One thing which comes with being back in more "normal" roles is the inevitable (occasional) rows, or arguments.
I have grown to love these small, insignificant arguments, because it reminds me we are "normal", after all. First and foremost, we are boyfriend and girlfriend. To the outside world we are a normal young couple, full of hope and potential, which of course we are, only sometimes for us life is slightly more complicated.
We argue over who does the washing up, who lost the remote control, and whether we watch the rugby or TOWIE (Will loves TOWIE).
I wrestled with this at first, not his love of TOWIE, I am used to that by now, but because I am acutely aware of my responsibilities as Will's carer and does arguing go against that responsibility? Is it something I am allowed to do?
And I think the answer is yes!
Although I have the title of carer; I am first and foremost Amy, Will's girlfriend. We are three years into our relationship and well past the honeymoon stage, Will no longer holds in his wind in front of me! These small arguments are, for us anyway, quite healthy.
And I am so glad to welcome their return!