Yesterday was the first step on the long road to returning to work so I was feeling extremely self-conscious about going back into my office as the first part of my graded return to work. After all, I’d been off sick for nearly a year now so all sorts of questions could have been asked of me while I was away. I have felt extremely guilty for leaving my work mates a man down for such a long period of time. I went into the office for just an hour to write up this blog, it was a nice way to start the journey of returning to work. It was my own thing but at work, which took a lot of pressure off.
The welcome I received from everyone immediately put me at ease and for that I will always be thankful.
Being a journalist and working in my job, was a huge part of who I was before my bleed and played an important role in defining who I was. However, not having that role for so long has made me lose sight of my purpose and who I am. Also it was a huge part of 'the old me' and it is this goal I am always striving to get back to again.
Working on a sports desk, like so many other departments at a daily newspaper, is like playing for a sports team itself. You have to help each other out and pick up the slack occasionally for one another when one of you has a lot on their plate. You are all different parts of the same body, so to speak. Otherwise you simply won’t get the job done in time for your deadline, which is what you are all working towards, together. I cannot wait to be a part of this again.
So in preparation for starting all over again, I wanted to look my best, even if everything wasn't quite working on the inside yet. So I bought a brand new pair of “work” trousers and a new "work" shirt and tie, then to top it all off, literally, I got a haircut (a much-needed haircut!). It was like returning to school for the first time after the summer holidays. Feeling that pang of nerves but thrill of excitement all at the same time. All the gossip and news I had missed out on, which I am sure I would catch up on at some point.
So much was still the same apart from one or two old faces who had, sadly, departed and one or two new faces that had joined the company. It was brilliant being sat in my own chair, at my own desk and surrounded by colleagues and friends. I had apparently met the new boss before at a friends' leaving do, unfortunately this was a fact I kept forgetting because of my faulty memory, I think I managed to blag my way through though, hopefully.
Already, even after just an hour I feel more of my old self returning and cannot wait to go in again, maybe next time for a little longer perhaps. I am fully aware that this will probably be a long process but I am thrilled to be starting it.